Hunter Kirby’s Birthday
We pulled up. Christella had trouble deciding where to park. After parking, our three heroes; Hunter Kirby, Billiam, and Christella, an intoxicated girl was seen having an aggressive conversation with a fellow intoxicant of the opposite sex. After soaking the male with her poison, the male in a fit of public rage clenched his fingers into his palm forming a super phenomenal geometric called “le fist”, and this powerful technique was carried out thoroughly to the girl’s chestial region, causing her body to flail to the ground with a cry of help. “HEEEELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!”. The following and previous all true facts. Christella stepped forward, “we have to go beat his ass for heating her! C-mo-” when so suddenly the strickened girl’s brother came forth, “I’ll take care of this Christella, and if you interfere, I’ll beat your ass too”. Christella froze, shocked from the random hate. “Let’s let someone else deal with it” said Hunter Kirby, walking to the head of the pack. We walked into the house, introduced ourselves to some scannies. Then we walked into the living quarters. We were greeted with free beers and paid porn from Dish Network who recently dropped half of the good channels. Shortly, Hunter Kirby and I walked outside, I sat afar from the crowd while he lit up a fresh cigarette. Within seconds, the seven of us outside turned into hundreds of rednecks. It sounded like listening to every song by Taylor Swift at the same time. I tried my half-assed deeply as enough of is enough, and I did. I got uppeth, and acquired a cup and access to the chamber which holds the liquor. On my journey to the car, my mother called; indeed I was sober. While hearing my mother, I mixed myself some Crown x Sprite. After my potion was ready, I began returning until my two fellows reunited with me, thus we met back up within the car. A new chap had joined our trio, he will be called Stitch. Stitch packed a dank bowl while we drove away, and I sipped on my drink. We passed it around until we stopped driving. I coughed the whole time; it was great. We get out at the same garage that we had attended two weeks previously. I placed the baa-ohl on the console, and got out with plenty of drink.
[SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM BEER RIFLE. (C)]
Tired or only drinking one beer at a time? Try all new BEER RIFLE (c)!!!! It’s just a cheap water gun made for point blank firing of 7 beers into one’s mouth. Try all new BEER RIFLE (c)! It’ll make seven beers drink like one!!!!
We walked in and found seats. Christella stayed outside. Hunter Kirby got up to play beer pong. Billiam grew up to be a famous rapper/gynacologists for both of his extraordinary works. The ten minutes went by and the ten minutes of sips had sent me to an edge-tipping wonderland, leaving me super high and highly intoxicated in the midst of a high school party. I put my drink down and began writing a note about Hunter Kirby’s birthday. As I typed away my story, my stupored time passed by like Bradley Cooper in Limitless. The first interruption was when one someone lit firecrackers in the garage. All the girls screamed. I jumped in the air thinking I had shit myself. Two more firecrackers were lit. And then nothing else happened so I ended the third scene, to finish in time
me: Hunter… Hunter.
me: What’re you going to college for?
Hunter smiles and shakes his head.
me grinning: You don’t care?
Hunter nodded silently while laughing.
I sat back down with a fresh potion to take. I begin sipping quickly, then remembering a before, I slowed down. I shook hands with an acquantince, Hunter Kirby was playing beer pong still, and Christella had disappeared to smoke a bowl. I sat until I asked Hunter what he was doing in college and he gave me the inspiring answer to the second commercial script to this narrative biography of non-fiction. Afterwords, I just finished my drink and sat as is, until the girls came. They asked to take a picture of me. A stranger took a picture of me holding a stranger. Afterwards, I sipped until I chugged the last drop, and then it happened. Everyone walked outside of the garage, and then Christella and somebody went into the car. When I went to make another drink, I was stumbled on by this surprise, the car was gone, and so were Huter Kirby and Christella.